Yesterday I went looking for some water-based, low VOC contact cement so that I could sadly replace my wonderful white board Formica Table top. The white Formica sat on a four foot by five foot table that served two purposes. It was fantastic out-feed table for sliding heavy wood planks and panels around as you pushed them through the table saw, and it was a great working table for large glue ups or writing notes with white board markers.

The problem is, that bright white shiny laminate plays havoc with all of my recording cameras, overcompensating the bright reflected light by darkening the whole video. I loved the white board laminate, but it sucks for video recording anything that sat on top of it.

When I built my new shop and put the back bench laminate on, I used regular/recommended oil based contact cement from DAP. Results were less than desirable because I did it in winter and had forgotten how noxious and nasty those fumes were. They filled the house. They made a PB&J sandwich taste like used motor oil.

After my wife stopped calling me names, I decided to try the water based cement from DAP to do the large tabletop. It was a latex based glue and didn’t give off much in the way of odors at all. The challenge with the product was that it brushed on thinner than the regular stuff and I needed to put on a second coat or a thicker coat for the glue to feel tacky. After placing the Formica on the table top, the bond was instant and permanent. No soft surface areas or separation after a year of heavy usage with sanders and hammers and planers, oh my.

So when I went to three separate home centers and hardware stores looking for the same water based product, nobody had it in stock. Finally at my last stop I asked the hardware store guy if DAP still made the product. He said, “Yeah but it’s terrible, the glue doesn’t hold and nobody wants to use the stuff”. I have a problem with absolutes in any context, so I challenged that.

“I’m here looking for it because it worked great on my workshop bench top. As long as it was applied thick enough to be tacky when dry, it works great and I beat the crap out of my table top.”

“The terrible performance is the main reason people don’t buy it and why we don’t stock it anymore”, he said.

“Maybe because it was $7 more per quart than the smelly stuff and people just picked the cheaper option? I read the instructions and the product worked great for me,” I replied.

I wondered then if people just took explanations like that at face value without challenging the pretext, and then I remembered where I am at this moment in time. We take comments and explanations like this as truth all the time. I mean the guy was wearing a golf shirt with the hardware store logo on it. He was speaking with authority. He must know what he’s talking about, right?

Perhaps this is also a great place to take a whack at car sales people. I remember returning to a dealership and a salesman I had built a relationship with to trade in and upgrade my vehicle. I asked him for the “super former customer discount”, where he already knew that we were experienced buyers. Given my age, this was like my 20^th car purchase. I grew up in Detroit and know cars. I also know that dealerships work their best to extract every dime they can from your pocket, and that they have huge latitude on the actual selling price while still making a profit.

But, maybe he had forgotten all that history and just expected me to be stupid. Maybe, given our society’s proclivity to believe everything they hear, he chose to take the dishonest story telling path. Maybe he figured that I was a returning customer and that I would just take one for the team. Regardless of the reason, he thanked me for coming back and trusting his dealership. He started a story to describe how manufacturer supply was limited (which it wasn’t) and that the factory wouldn’t allow further discounts because there was so little profit margin on that particular model. He then quoted me full sticker price less $500 for what was already a factory sponsored loyalty discount.

I think he was surprised at how fast I rose to my feet and left the dealership. That guy still sends me electronic birthday cards and new vehicle updates now three years later. At another brand/dealership I found another similar SUV with nicer features, some extra bling and a better fit for my 77 inch frame. Because we were coming up on the next model year soon, the sales manager quoted me a price $6,500 off sticker for the current model year. I took the deal and I’m positive the dealership STILL made money. I guess in the end, that guy had decided to hold off on the BS and shoot me straight.

The truth can be found if you dig a little. The truth is there if you’re willing to NOT accept what someone chooses to feed you especially if they are feeding it to you with so much passion it somehow must be true, right? That’s a red flag for me now. Sell me hard on a product, a price, or a personal belief and I take a step back. “I’m sorry, what do you think is true again? Oh, you saw it on the internet? You heard it from your hermit uncle Dave? Well then it must be true!”

I get emails all the time from small companies and cheap tool distributors telling me how wonderful my YouTube channel is and that they appreciate my talent and that they really want me to feature their product (for free) in a video as long as it’s at least 10 minutes in length. At face value the compliments are nice and they feel personal until you get the next email from another company using the exact same email template and language while asking for the same thing. I mean free tools are nice, but do you really love my channel or are you feeding me some chunky brown soup again? You can also tell that most of these emails come from China and they have never really watched the content I feature on my channel. One company wanted me to feature some sort of energy drink. Really? Pass.

Anyway, I’m not in this YouTube or wood shop game to pimp myself out to whoever offers me a freebee. I just don’t appreciate the BS being laid at my feet, especially when I’m not wearing my rubber boots. I’m getting better at identifying lies and fabrications and exaggerations especially when accompanied by a hard sell. Pumping your fist and shouting about what you want me to believe is another red flag.

As I write this, the doorbell just rang and a large box from my local home center was delivered containing a 4X8 sheet of medium gray Formica for my table top. I had to order the water based contact cement from Amazon, and it will be here in a couple days. My expectation from personal experience is that the laminate will bond very nicely to my big work table despite what the hardware guy said. My hope is that the matte finish and the darker top will balance out my camera’s brightness settings when recording the next video.

That is my belief. I hope to support that position with facts soon.

Best to you all. Stay frosty!

Mark – TFW