I think it’s time for a rant. At least I want it to be time for a rant. So I rant. Right? Rant starts right now.

We took a break from the wood shop to make a road trip and visit our newly born grandchild. My favorite oldest daughter and her wonderful hubby live about an hour away from us but the time seems to fly by as you look forward to seeing and holding this cute little bundle of joy.

Of course I brought my tool bag with me because there were a couple of new cool things in the nursery that needed installation. I also brought along some new drywall hanger technology with really wide toggle catches that lock securely behind the wall. They also use a thicker bolt rather than a screw to attach whatever you are trying to hang. They work great actually, but require a half inch hole in the wall to complete the installation. It’s a trade off. They provide better grip, but leave you a nasty hole to repair if you ever want to move what you just hung.

But this blog isn’t about that. I feel obligated to write something about woodworking or home maintenance in a woodworking blog, so there. Job done.

I want to talk about how the fast food industry is about to price themselves out of existence and I’ll use a recent trip to Subway as my prime example. After a long morning in the shop or after hard hours of working outdoors, landscaping or just doing home maintenance, you might feel like rewarding yourself with food that you don’t have to prepare. There may be a natural desire for something tasty using ingredients that you wouldn’t necessarily find in your fridge. On this particular weekday after finishing my nursery installations and holding my tiny granddaughter in my hands, it was time for a lunch break. My son in law and I decided to make a quick trip to the local Subway for sandwiches and beverages. That way we could eat, we could get back from this side trip before he had to jump on his next conference call, and there wouldn’t be any clean up to worry about. Too bad, so sad for him having to work. “Na, na, na, na, boo, boo, you have to go back to work”. I love being retired.

After ordering two foot long sandwiches and a six inch wrap, all of them standard menu items without any extra up-charges and four 20 ounce bottles of fizzy-bubbly, the bill came to $56.

Fifty six dollars and my wife and I split one of the foot longs. No cookies, no chips, no fries. This was Subway so of course no fries, no additional items added to the bill. I think we could have stopped in to Big Boy, A&W or even Applebees and found simple lunch options for less.

I’m not completely sure why this surprised me. I know that Subway and other food chains adjust their prices depending on where they are located. A BK Whopper meal with fries and a Coke in New York City? Even that requires a small business loan. Though this particular Subway is located in Oakland County, Michigan, which enjoys the highest per capita median income in the state, it’s still Michigan. Not California, not New York. I’m back to that $56 dollars, driving me nuts.

It’s not about having the money. We’re fortunate enough and we’re thankful in our own retirement that surprising events like this aren’t a financial concern. I just didn’t take notice of the prices on the wall before hearing the total.

Monday of that same week I made an early morning trip to the LoweNards Depot home center, because in Michigan most of them open up at 6 AM. On that short roadie I stopped at Mickey Dee’s for Eggy Muffin meal which came with a hash brown and a Coke and tipped the scales at just over $10. The days of “Five Dollar Foot Longs” and the $5 morning value meal are long gone.

Again, it shouldn’t have been a surprise. In the Spring of this year I had made a trip out towards Alpena and the East Coast of Michigan. Here’s a bit of useless trivia for you: Did you know Lake Huron is the fourth largest lake in the world? The Great Lakes: Always fresh, sometimes frozen. Anyway, I digress. Around lunch time I wanted to try a promotional burger combo that Burger King was advertising at the time. I honestly can’t remember the name of the promotion or what was special about the burger, but it was advertised as the $8 meal combo. I stopped. I ordered. I made sure to specify a Coke with the combo. The loud speaker then announced, “That will be $12.43 at the first window”. Lesson learned. Read the fine print. The “Combo”, doesn’t include a beverage. Nice. Well done, you. You got me to actually stop in and order one of these things and get me on the beverage up charge.

No, the burger wasn’t memorable. The fries were cold. My Coke cup was packed firm with ice and about 2 ounces of liquid. I hate that. I hate that my five dollar morning combo is over ten dollars now. The Subway experience wasn’t much of a happy experience either.

Yes, yes, yes. I remember the inflation discussion in my basic economics class all those years ago. Prices do and always will rise over time. But when prices start to rise above convenience to the point where a guy like me will stop coming into your store, then you as the business owner have a problem. You see, it isn’t about the cost of everything going up. Grocery store food prices have risen but they haven’t risen at the same pace of these fast food establishments. Clearly I could make that sandwich for less money per unit at home, but the problem is I would have buy everything and then hope to use it all before the tomatoes and lettuce rot, and the meat starts to smell like feet. You’re paying for the convenience of it all.

Still, at more than $15 for a sandwich, carry out, without any add on items, you’re better off going to an Applebees or Big Boy restaurant for lunch. Treat yourself a better way, sitting at a real table with real silverware and where a nice person brings you food like a sandwich and fries often for less than $15. Or just keep those sandwich materials at home and whip up a masterpiece in your own kitchen.

In any case, I think Subway is crazy and their pricing model is no longer sustainable in this economy, no matter how many basketball icons you get to pitch the wonderfulness of your sandwiches. They’re still just meat, lettuce and cheese on bread. It’s just too much money for too little satisfaction.

I’m out.

I will pay extra and a tip for the better experience or just make my monster sandwiches at home. I think I’ll call my signature salami, ham and provolone sandwich the “McWoodworker”.